12 May 2014

In an Instant

I’ve been MIA in the blog world for a while now. 

There have been a couple of reasons for my absence. First and foremost, we moved cross-country from Colorado to Georgia a little over a month ago. It seemed like a good time to slow down and take a break from the blog. I needed more time for myself, my family, and most importantly – Chickie. Plus, traveling, unpacking, and setting up house is time consuming and draining. Blogging just had to go on the back burner for a while.

All of this in and of itself is stressful but things didn’t get any easier for us once we arrived in Georgia. The home we are renting turned out to be huge disappointment {Actually, that’s putting it mildly}. I don’t really feel like going into any in-depth explanation as to why right now but suffice it to say that we will once again be moving. We are lucky to be able to break our current lease and have found a beautiful new{er} home (built in 2008 in a great subdivision outside of Statesboro). It’s a situation that is “All’s well that ends well” but just the thought of moving again has been enough to make me lose my mind when I think about it. 

The other reason is a little more complicated. After a brief conversation heated discussion with Michael regarding the blog, it came to light that he really…well…doesn’t care for my blog all that much {Keep your eyes open for a post coming soon on the realities of relationships!}. His reasons are many but the most important one comes down to his dislike of having Chickie plastered so blatantly all over the Internet. When I put my own feelings aside about my blog, I guess I can understand his concerns. While the Internet is a great tool in our lives, it is also a hot bed of safety concerns and issues with predators and the like. The bottom line is that after our argument over the blog, I was left feeling very torn about what to do with my blog, dejected, and saddened by the whole thing.

And then Tuesday happened…

It was a normal day. I got up, did the usual morning routine, got to work, and started settling in for the day. I started logging into my social media accounts and was immediately flooded with pictures and status updates about a fellow blog friend named Jacqui who writes at Baby Boy Bakery. Her 3.5 year old son Ryan was killed a week ago Friday evening while playing Frisbee in his cousin’s front yard. All while simply being a boy and chasing after his Frisbee, Ryan was run over by a car speeding through the neighborhood and was dragged halfway down the street, all while his parents watched…unable to do anything. I can’t even imagine. I have no idea how a parent loses a child let alone a baby. To see the child you grew in your belly, have rocked to sleep, raised, held, and lived for killed before your very eyes…I just don’t know how any parent buries a child. 

Reading about Jacqui and Dan’s loss shook me to my very core last week. For the majority of the week, my mind and thoughts turned to those parents and the unimaginable loss they had suffered. Maybe it was because I knew how easily it could have been my child that it happened to but whatever the reason, I gained a clarity of gratefulness as a person, but more so as a parent, that I haven’t had in a very long time. Thinking about Jacqui and Dan’s loss made me realize how much I’ve been consumed lately with my problems, concerns, and focus of earning a living without the balance of making a life. 

Sure, in the very back corners of my mind I know I’m blessed and have a lot to be grateful for but I think we as humans have a great tendency to push those blessings to the back of our minds and forget about them, especially when life, stress, and the mundane of every day happens. Doubly so when it is the opposite and life is going great with little to no problems to worry our minds over. It’s almost as if we operate on auto pilot and just cruise through the motions. Hearing about Jacqui’s loss snapped me back into reality – a reality that yes, even you Courtney, can have your life change in an instant.

And in a way, I guess my life did change last week in an instant. I didn't have a tragedy befall me nor did I have any earth-shattering occurrence happen to me. I did however, have many, many things become crystal clear to me in a way that I’d never seen them before. I felt more love, more grace, and more understanding for myself, my child, and Michael than I’ve felt in a very long time. And while we still have the stress and pressures of everyday life, I am reminded that those problems will always come and go. There will always be challenges and hurdles to overcome. That is just the nature and ebb and flow of life. What is real, what is permanent, what is everlasting – our family – is what will stay and it alone is the single constant in my life. All of the petty disagreements over blogs, housing issues, and the troubles in my life will eventually work themselves out and pale in comparison to the importance of my family. 

In an instant, my life did change. I pray that I’m always able to keep this perspective of remembering what is important while letting the everyday junk fall to the wayside. If there is any good to be found in Ryan’s tragedy, it’s that this mother regained her perspective on what is important in this life. I pray that we all keep a perspective of gratefulness and use it to the betterment and uplifting of our families. There are so many uncertain things in life but one thing is for sure: We all have only an infinite number of days promised to us. Don’t get too consumed in earning a living that you forget to make a life. 

Take care friends,

Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup
Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup

Courtney is a published author, mom, taco enthusiast, and a Star Wars and Tennessee Volunteers fanatic. She's never met a piece of sushi she didn’t like and enjoys an amazing glass of wine and a great cut of meat. You can read more of her wine-induced, sleep-deprived adventures on The Huffington Post and Scary Mommy.

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