29 October 2014

Hump Day Mommy Confessions



{1} Let’s dish on Halloween.

Allow me to get straight to the point – I’m not a fan, and for many reasons. Yes, I participated in the “holiday” when I was young but as I transitioned into my adult years, I found the whole thing to be completely ridiculous. I’ve also found that…

·         Kids are just downright rude these days. Gone are the days of saying, “Trick or Treat!” or even please and thank you for their treats. Most don’t even bother wearing a costume anymore. They just mope their rude asses up to my front door, hold out their bag for me to dump the candy into, and then have the audacity to make comments like, “Aw man! This candy is lame!!” or “Where’s the good candy?” Are you shitting me, dude? I just spent my hard earned money on candy that I don’t even want or need for kids that aren’t even mine and you’re going to say that to me? Nah, dude.

·         The traffic, safety, and crowds just aren’t worth it for having a 3 year old. Sorry, it just isn’t. Because of the decline of Halloween over the years, most neighborhoods don’t even give out candy anymore which means mom and dad have to find other outlets for trick or treating (Malls, event venues, etc.). So by the time I get off work at 5 p.m., rush to get Chickie from school, rush home, rush to get dinner on the table, rush to get the costume on (that she’s usually fighting me on), rush to get to wherever we’re going, fight traffic, fight the crowds…NO THANKS. I mean, my kid is 3. She has no clue what’s going on. So totally not worth it!

·         Adults ruin it. Yep, you read that right. We ruin it. Here’s a prime example. The last year that I handed out candy (Circa 2008 I think?) I had an adult come to my door trick or treating. And y’all, he was serious. It wasn’t as if he was trick or treating with his kid. Nope. He was doing it all by himself and damn near wanted to punch me in the face when I told him that I wouldn’t give him any candy. How freaking crazy is that?! 

I dunno. I’m certainly not a curmudgeon and I like to have a good time but it’s so not worth it to me at this point in Maddy’s life to do this. When she gets older and is able to decide for herself what she wants to do then I’m sure it will be a different story but for now, we’ll celebrate Halloween the same way we have since she was born: dinner at home, a movie curled up on the sofa, bath, and bed. 


{2} I’m officially at the age where I use Clearasil and wrinkle cream at the same time. Go home, face! You’re drunk.


{3} The weather around these parts has left me feeling a bit yuck lately. I hate to say it {OK not really otherwise I wouldn’t be saying it here} but I’m totally one of those people whose mental and emotional well-being, in part, is based on the weather and I’m not AT ALL a hot weather person.

I’ve always lived in places where it’s spring when it’s supposed to be spring, fall when it’s supposed to be fall, and winter when it’s supposed to be winter. Not this 89 degree crap at the end of October. It’s seriously starting to piss me off. I know, I know – first world problems and all but really. 89?? 

The weather app on my phone keeps telling me that next day or next week it’s supposed to dip down into the 60’s and stay there but it lies. Case in point – today’s high is 84 when yesterday it told me it was supposed to be 70. Believing my weather app is like being in a really bad relationship where I’m constantly being lied to but I stay because I want to believe that it will get better but in the end, it’s all just disappointment. Le sigh.


{4} Sometimes, I throw out the entire Tupperware container to avoid dealing with the funk on the inside.


{5} I flush the toilet with my shoe when using public restrooms. 


{6} I feel like I’m the only woman on the planet who has ZERO interest in the 50 Shades of Grey series. More so, I lose my faith in humanity just a little bit every time I hear people refer to it as “good reading” or “good literature.” 

F. Scott Fitzgerald may have something to say about that. 

It’s such trash! Someone, please explain to me what I’m missing…


{7} I hardly if ever wash my bras. There I said it! #andthetruthshallsetyoufree


{8} I always get amused by the people on Facebook who bitch 99.9% of the year but when November 1st rolls around, there they are counting down their blessings each day for the month. And if I’m being super, super honest? Their confessions of blessings come across as totally fake and less than genuine. C’mon now. Please, let’s all just keep it real. 


What do you have to confess for the week?


Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup
Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup

Courtney is a published author, mom, taco enthusiast, and a Star Wars and Tennessee Volunteers fanatic. She's never met a piece of sushi she didn’t like and enjoys an amazing glass of wine and a great cut of meat. You can read more of her wine-induced, sleep-deprived adventures on The Huffington Post and Scary Mommy.

8 comments:

  1. I've thrown away too many tupperware containers (and sippy cups found under couches), rarely wash my bras and never finished 50 Shades of Gray (and won't see the money). Amen.

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  2. I don't dig 50 shades either... never read it...never plan to. I also throw out containers...

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  3. I haven't laughed in days. THANK YOU. And, I'm 100% with you on ALL of this...minus my obsession with making my kids obnoxious costumes ;)

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  4. Hahaha!! Love the last point and I can't believe an adult went trick or treating.... And yes I use wrinkle and acne cream too! Damn hormones in your thirties!

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  5. Uh, yeah, for every kid who comes up to my door without a costume, their candy goes in MY basket. :-)

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  6. Love these as always! However those stupid thankful project posts on FB?! I fing hate them! I seriously consider getting OFF facebook every year because of them. They are so obxious and self serving (mostly).

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  7. Good lord. I'm nodding my head to all of these. Except for the bra part. I live in sports bras and those just get nasty quick. :)
    We had an adult come trick or treating last year and I was BLOWN away. I mean, I go with M to a handful of neighbors and we call it a night. But this dude (with relatively little costume to speak of) marched up to my door and threw out his bag. I couldn't (and still can't) wrap my head around it. Let's also point out the parents who allow, sometimes even encourage, their kids to repeat their appearance at your door. Or the kids who think they're going to go picking through my bowl of candy…

    As for the weather. Don't get me wrong, I love me some summer. But, by November I'd REEEEEALLY like to bust out my scarves, cute boots, and sweaters. My weather app is a big fat liar, too. Today's high was supposed to be 72. By 9AM it was already 70, and by noon it was 80. OVER IT.

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