So off we went. We enjoyed a week of sleeping in, quiet and intimate dinners, time with friends and the care-free life of togetherness - just the two of us. We promised each other that we would make time to get away more often whether that meant more trips, date nights or time away in general and that we wouldn't slip back into our hurried routine of life to only forget about each other and our own personal needs as individuals and as a couple.
It's pretty easy to make promises when you’re fully rested and enjoying vacation as a care-free couple. It's also very easy to put said promises on the back burner when the reality of life comes calling again. The realities of life are also called monotony...and it can slowly kill your marriage or relationship.
Four years after meeting and having a child together, we are still each other's best friend and favorite person most days. We miss each other when we're apart and can't wait to be home with each other and our little Chickie. Usually. However, we also let jobs, piles of laundry, cleaning up messes, household chores, parenting disputes, bills - you know, life - come between us.
Having said all of this, we still strive to do our best to maintain a hot relationship. I can picture it very clearly in my mind when I think about it. I see him when he gets out of the shower, skin glistening with his hair all wet and I think, "Hmmmm..." I look at him with our daughter; they laugh, they play, they watch movies, and they snuggle together and to me, when I see him with her, there's nothing sexier.
We have lived through every season in our relationship; the cold months filled with contempt and resentment. The lukewarm fall filled with idle days and nights with stagnant affection. The blossoms of spring when everything seems fresh and new again. But by far, our favorite relationship season are the hot, hot summer months.
Marriage and relationships are hard work, bottom line. There's no way possible to kick up your feet and still expect to ride the waves of hot monogamy. Even on the hard days, it takes faithful, committed, selfless habit forming work to spice up our daily routines. The old adage is that it takes 21 days to create a habit. I dare each of you to try the following habits that I work on to have a hotter marriage/relationship.
1 :: Touch every day. Find a way to make the conscience effort to touch his hand, play footsie under the dinner table, rub her back or simply touch each other's arm as you pass in the hallway. A quick smack on the butt on the way out the door is also pretty fun too.
3 :: Be quick to forgive. It's inevitable - disagreements and arguments are going to happen even between the strongest, most committed couples. When your spouse makes the effort to apologize, be quick to forgive. I firmly believe that it takes a lot of character and strength to admit when we're wrong, especially in relationships. If your partner is willing to admit when they've made a mistake, be willing to accept the apology and move on. Wouldn't you want the same consideration if the roles were reversed?
4 :: Take the time to complement each other. When we're dating, we go out of our way to make the other person we love feel special with our words. Why should this stop once we're in a committed relationship? It may sound silly but 1,000 people can complement me on a new outfit or hairstyle but none of those compliments mean as much as his. Your influence over your spouse is powerful - use it for their betterment and to bless them.
So there's my list. Even I have to admit that I have to remind myself to keep these things in mind on a daily basis but when I do and put them into action, our relationship is better for it.
What are some of your tips for keeping the fires burning?