01 April 2015

Hump Day Mommy Confessions

Hump Day Mommy Confessions: Real mom. Real life. Real...interesting. 

ONE :: I don't remember Chickie’s first word. I really don't. It was either "Bye" or "Da-da" but I couldn't tell you...even if you put a gun to my head. Those days were AGES ago and when you're operating on little to no sleep, those just aren't things to keep up with. Just being honest.

TWO :: I stopped breast feeding after a week. Yep, I waived the white flag. I was done with it. Life, stress and PPD was already too much to deal with being a first time mom and Chickie wasn't too thrilled with it either. I'm sure we could have tried for a little longer but I was D.O.N.E. It was formula from there on out and you know what? My child was fine. Imagine that! She wasn't nutritionally deficient. Her brain didn't stop growing and she didn't catch any horrible diseases. She was happier in the end and quite frankly, so were my nipples.

THREE :: I've peed in a Tervis tumbler while in traffic because I was too lazy to make an additional stop to have to get my then baby out of the car, her stroller and her crap just to go into a bathroom. It's all good though. The cup was washed before it was used again.

FOUR :: There is a very small part of me that has always been happy when Chickie gets her vaccines. It's the best night's sleep she, and her father and I, have ever had.

FIVE :: I hear so many other moms talk about how they don't want their babies to grow up. Not me. I'm not wishing away time with my daughter but I do find myself longing more for the days when she's fully interactive, able to tell me what she needs/bothering her/upsetting her etc. vs. having to play 20 questions and still having no answers.

SIX :: I'm a total cheap ass mom. I keep to a budget. And while those smock dresses and monogrammed shit looks great I have a hard time spending $50 on a dress for myself let alone one for an almost 4 year old that will grow out of it in no time and probably either shit on it or throw up on it. No gonna happen. And you should have seen me when I was pregnant while we were buying things for the nursery. $50 wipe warmer? Nope. Her tukus will be just fine with cold ones. Children have been using them since the dawn of time and have been just fine. Nifty little $100 machine to clean the bottles? Nope. The free dishwasher I already have will work just fine, thank you very much.

SEVEN :: We’ve never had professional family pictures made. Gasp! I know, the horror! It all kind of goes back to my whole being cheap thing coupled with the fact that I get a lot of great FREE shots on my own so why bother?

EIGHT ::  I let Maddy play with my un-used, still wrapped tampons. She likes to grab the string and twirl them over her head like a helicopter and it keeps her occupied and quiet for quite a while. Mom of the Year right here, folks.

NINE :: I find myself doing all the things I swore up and down I would never do as a mom before having a kid. For example: my obnoxious, pre-baby self would have never let my daughter dip her animal crackers in the pet's water bowl while eating them. My know-it-all pre-baby self would never condone me letting Maddy watch TV so I can get dinner cooked or get ready in the morning. No no no no. My pre-baby self would have found other, more educational ways to keep her entertained.

Uh huh.

Then I actually had a baby and ate all those words.

The cold hard reality of raising kids is that sometimes you have to do what you have to do to keep your sanity and the home running smoothly. So yes - please stay in your PJ's all day long when we're home together because it's one less thing I have to wash later.

TEN ::  I have a really hard time remembering nursery rhymes. The only ones I remember are Wheels on the Bus and Itsy Bitsy Spider. Other than that, I'm screwed. I honestly don't remember them so instead, I sing things like Baby Got Back...or Digital Underground's Humpty Dance. She loves it and in return, I get the best laughs and smiles. 

So now it’s your turn. What mommy confessions do you have for this week? 


Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup
Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup

Courtney is a published author, mom, taco enthusiast, and a Star Wars and Tennessee Volunteers fanatic. She's never met a piece of sushi she didn’t like and enjoys an amazing glass of wine and a great cut of meat. You can read more of her wine-induced, sleep-deprived adventures on The Huffington Post and Scary Mommy.


  1. I only last a couple of months breast feeding! And I totally agree on number 4.

  2. #6 - YES! I cannot fathom paying so much for something my daughter will outgrow in a month. When I was pregnant, we got so many essentials (pack 'n' play, vibration chair thing, floor play mat) at yard sales. Saved a TON. And now, for clothes and shoes, I live in the clearance section! Also, I am so with you on #5. Do I sometimes miss those baby days and snuggles? Well of course. But it's just so amazing what she can do WITH me now that I can't wait to see her grow up and discover so much more about herself!

  3. I'm right there with you on #6. I get most of my kids clothes on clearance and resale shops. I'm just as cheap on myself so I don't feel bad. I can always throw a monogram on a $2 outfit. ;)

    And I refuse to pay for pictures until everyone can at least look at the camera and smile. We've always had a friend or my mom take pictures. It works just fine.

  4. Love this list! Consignment sale shopping is the way to go for my girls! I'm way too cheap too! This might make a great link up! Love it!

  5. Great list...I am on board with all of them actually!

  6. OMG, I thought I was the only one who did number 3. Seriously. Mine was a disposable cup though! And no, I would never spend that crazy amount on something monogrammed for Abbie. Seriously, how am I going to use that for another kid if I monogram it? Or sell it at a consignment sale? NOT happening.

    And Abbie likes to sit on the bathroom floor and pull all the tampons out of the box and put them back in. Chris cringes....but I don't care. She's having fun!

  7. I thought I was the only person for #1! I have a couple of guesses but really her first word? Not a clue. Her first phrase - like more than a sound that maybe some moms count as words? Now that I remember - because she called Winston a "bad boy" about 10 times in a row! Yeah we do number 8 -- not exactly the same but if it lets me get a shower that day I don't care as long as she's not hurting herself. OH and that babies not growing up stuff? I don't get that at all! I have a hard time even liking posts about that insanity! I too can't wait for her to be just a big older and interact and do things without worry if she'll freak out. I mean I'm not wishing these days away but I don't miss things as she gets older and we get to the next cool stage. Love these posts they always bring a smile to my face!

  8. 6 and 8!! lololol. Yep yep yep.

    I started to tell Abigail the story of little red riding hood today and then I was like wait.....isn't this a messed up story? and even more so I was like wait.....how does it even go?

  9. Desiree @ Macke MonologuesApril 2, 2015 at 10:11 AM

    Oh my gosh, if someone asked me to repeat M's first words I would literally laugh in their faces. I can't remember what we ate for dinner last night, let alone the first words uttered a few years ago. Please. Keep it moving.
    Breastfeeding? Ha! I quit that battle before we even left the hospital. I was a pumping machine for three months before I said give me all the formula.
    Right there with you on the the growing up. I don't wish the time away, but there has to be a point in these little lives (teen years?) where they WANT to sleep, won't whine, and I can leave my house with out 1.4 million toys, snacks, and whatnots stuffed in my purse.

    Loved the post today!!

  10. Courtney PattersonApril 2, 2015 at 10:46 AM

    Haha! Right? A wolf hiding in the bushes waiting for a little girl. Nah, nothing wrong with that! ;-) Have a beautiful day, friend!

  11. Courtney PattersonApril 2, 2015 at 10:47 AM

    Hahaha! That's awesome! It's amazing the things kids find to keep themselves happy and entertained. Thanks for reading!

  12. Courtney PattersonApril 2, 2015 at 10:57 AM

    Thanks, friend! I totally agree with the growing up stuff - it's so much fun to see them really interacting with the world and doing cool things. I love it. I hope you're having a great week!

  13. Courtney PattersonApril 2, 2015 at 10:58 AM

    Now you know you're not alone! ;-) I used to cringe at the idea of Maddy playing with my tampons but as time went on, I was like, whatever! If it allows me to get a fast shower and she's not hurting herself, so be it. Hope you're having a great week!

  14. Courtney PattersonApril 2, 2015 at 10:58 AM

    Thanks, Stacy and thanks for reading!

  15. Courtney PattersonApril 2, 2015 at 11:03 AM

    I agree! I've been able to find amazing things at shops like Once Upon a Child and others. Many of my daughter's Gap Kids and other high end retail clothing has been purchased through consignment and I love it. The quality is great and the prices are amazing. Thanks for reading!

  16. Courtney PattersonApril 2, 2015 at 11:05 AM

    That is a GREAT point about the pictures. I never thought of it that way but it's so true! And yep, I shop consignment all the time. I find high end retailer clothing for a few dollars and it's all in wonderful condition so why would I pay triple? Thanks for reading!

  17. Courtney PattersonApril 2, 2015 at 11:10 AM

    I shop a lot of consignment because I'm able to get high end clothing for a few dollars and it's all in great condition vs. spending triple in the actual store. Who really wants to do that? Thanks so much for reading!

  18. Courtney PattersonApril 2, 2015 at 11:11 AM

    Totally couldn't do it. I wanted to, but I wasn't producing enough milk and my daughter HATED doing it so out the window it went. I was fine with the decision. In a big way, I got my body back and everyone was happy so it was the right decision for us. Thanks for reading!

  19. Courtney PattersonApril 2, 2015 at 11:12 AM

    Thanks, friend! These are always fun posts to write. You are to be commended for pumping that long because when I was done, I was done with all of it. Hope you guys are having a great week!

  20. I can't breathe... I'm laughing and shouting "amen sister!". Connor used to get in my bathroom cabinet all the time and would line up my tampons and play train and I would be like go for it... now I can dry my hair in peace.