13 May 2015

What You Should Know About Me If We Are to be Friends

The blog world is an eclectic mix of amusing, amazing, interesting and talented people. I’ve been lucky to “meet” so many interesting women and writers during my three years of blogging and more so, I’ve made a couple of dear friendships along the way which are invaluable to me. It’s somewhat surreal and weird to think sometimes that I may not have ever met these special people if it weren’t for my blog. 

Having said this, being a blogger also means dealing with the not so nice, judgmental and downright rude people who cross your path as well. It never ceases to amaze me how much time people have on their hands to basically be such downers and in being this way, the exorbitant amount of time they take out of their own lives to share their comments and thoughts is mind-boggling. I’m doing great if I can remember to put a bra on most days so how these snarky ass people have time to basically raise their kids, do their jobs and take care of their own business is beyond me. #shade 

I was reminded of this ugly side Monday evening after sharing a picture of my daughter on IG. This was the picture, and with it was the caption, “The child just informed me that she can pick her nose and scratch her butt at the same time. We’re teaching real life skills here, people.”

Okay, who is not laughing at this?? If you are a parent (or even if you’re not) you know how relatable and funny this is where kids are concerned. Small children pretty much have NO filter when it comes to sharing their thoughts and what’s on their mind. What you see is what you get with children at this age and in some cases, what you get is a finger in the nose. These are the types of moments I usually capture. Why? Because they are real. They are relatable. They are funny, but apparently not for some people. 

Yesterday morning I received an email from a mother who used to follow me on IG. I say “used to follow me” because after I posted the above picture, she was apparently so offended and taken aback that I would post something like that of my daughter that she couldn’t bring herself to follow me anymore. 


I guess this woman missed the bio on my IG that clearly says, “Tackling life with a lot of laughs, sarcasm and baby wipes” or maybe she missed the larger than life tag line at the top of my blog that reads, “Keeping the talk on parenting, life and kiddos real.” Either way, I’m not sure where the confusion came into play (that’s sarcasm again in case you missed that #smartass) but it definitely left me feeling like maybe I haven’t made myself clear on who I am so allow me to fix that for all of you now.

What You Should Know About Me if We Are to be Friends

If we are to be friends, then you should know:

ONE. I cuss. A lot. They are simply words, nothing more. If your sensibilities are so fragile that a few cuss words here or there rattle and shake you to your core, then we probably can’t be friends.

TWO. I find farts extremely hysterical. Call me what you will, but a good ol’ machine gun rat-ta-tat-tat will get me giggling like nobody’s business. You get extra points for longevity. FARTS. ARE. FUNNY.

THREE. I’m full of sarcasm and smart ass-ness. I’m pretty sure the chemical makeup of my body is oxygen, carbon and sarcasm. I tend to sit in resting bitch face formation and contrary to popular belief, I listen far more than I talk. I have a sarcastic, smart ass sense of humor and most times, have zero intentions or inclination on being serious, like ever.

FOUR. I’m a tell-it-like-it-is type of gal. Need your coffee with a little cream? I’m not the one to come to. Need a cold glass of milk to wash down that self-pity pie you’re constantly trying to swallow? I’m not the one to ask. Understand, I’m not a mean person and I do conduct myself according to circumstances and surroundings but I’m not the one if you need someone to sugar coat things for you. The good news is that you will always know where you stand with me and you will always get my honest answers, take and way of life on things and really, isn’t that a great thing because who really wants to be lied to?

FIVE. What you see is what you get. As I mentioned above, the tag line of my blog is: “Keeping the talk on parenting, life and kiddos real.” The one thing you should take away from that sentence is real. I talk about the real challenges and ups and downs of parenting, not just the good stuff because if we’re all being honest here, real life with children is messy. It’s chaotic. It’s downright unenjoyable, frustrating and a pain in the ass at times. It’s exhausting and trying. Being a parent is nothing short of challenging and I think the sooner we can all learn to embrace these things and talk about them head on and be supportive in return, the better off we’ll all be as parents and as individuals. My writing can be raw, unedited and can smack you straight in the face. It can also inspire and uplift but at the end of the day the one thing it will never be is fake, kiss ass or toned down to make others comfortable. If you want comfort, go to a Hampton Inn…or you can simply click that big red “X” in the upper right hand corner. Either way, I am who I am and will not change for anyone. 

By now you’re probably thinking, “Well, gee Courtney! You’re so hard to resist!” (That’s sarcasm again, btw) but before you make a snap judgment, you should probably know this about me too…

·         I am the most loyal and dedicated friend you could ever hope for.
·         Aside from my sarcastic and smart ass sense of humor, my daughter and family are the most precious and important people in my life, so don’t get it twisted.
·         I believe a smile can change a person’s life.
·         I’m incredibly optimistic.
·         I am giving to a fault; I have a tendency to put myself last and be used.
·         I am actually very tender-hearted.
·         I believe in second chances because Lord knows I’ve needed them too.
·         It’s not always resting bitch face. I laugh A LOT. Mostly at myself.
·         I have a very, very soft spot for animals.
·         Being a mom is the best thing that ever happened to me. My life used to be a boring, empty shell of an existence before my daughter came along. 

I think it’s easy to read a person’s blog or look at IG pictures or Twitter comments and think that you have a person figured out but most times, you don’t. Most times, you are nothing but wrong. Relax. Have a laugh. Stop taking yourself so seriously. It’s up to all of us to keep this in mind and really, if we are to be friends, and you can’t do that…

…then we’re better off without each other. #adios

Be well friends.
Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup
Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup

Courtney is a published author, mom, taco enthusiast, and a Star Wars and Tennessee Volunteers fanatic. She's never met a piece of sushi she didn’t like and enjoys an amazing glass of wine and a great cut of meat. You can read more of her wine-induced, sleep-deprived adventures on The Huffington Post and Scary Mommy.


  1. Oh. My. Word. How does that woman have time to send you an email about something so silly? Um, what??? Ridiculous. If I decide to unfollow someone because of something...I just do it. Was that email necessary? Absurd.

    Anyway, this entire post is why we are friends. If you would just go ahead and move here, that would make my life even better. <3

  2. I am so glad to know I am not the only grown woman who find farts hilarious. Seriously, comedy gold.

  3. Haha lol People take this the wrong way with me all the time. I can be a complete smartass and very blunt with the delivery of my commentary. I can't believe the audacity of some people though. Seriously ridiculous.

  4. Christine HawkinsMay 13, 2015 at 2:20 PM

    Seriously, this is why I take negativity with a grain of salt! People just need to live a little. Everyone is different, if you don't like me oh well! A lot of people take me the wrong way too. Not only that people are so extremely quick to judge now-a-days. This is 2015 people, get a life. Thanks for sharing this post Courtney!

  5. Haters gonna hate!! Just keep being you :-)
    And I cuss more now that I have kids than before…. maybe just not in front of them--- well try not too anyways :-)

  6. Mommas need to calm the fuck down. Seriously. I think that picture/caption combo is hilarious.

  7. Oh my goodness that is just so stupid. I'll have you know I saw the picture and cracked up laughing. Maybe she should unfollow everyone she follows who liked it too. Bahah ha!

  8. Oh, that is just silly. Some people need to calm down! I definitely have a slightly different filter on what I post on IG because I have students who follow me, but that's the position I am in. You post what you want! Keep on keepin' on!

  9. Courtney PattersonMay 15, 2015 at 11:13 AM

    Exactly! And that's my continued plan of action. ;-) Hope you and the new be-be are doing great! Have a wonderful weekend!

  10. Courtney PattersonMay 15, 2015 at 11:14 AM

    That is the best suggestion I've heard in a long time, lol. Have a great weekend!

  11. Courtney PattersonMay 15, 2015 at 11:14 AM

    I couldn't have said it better myself. Have a fabulous weekend!

  12. Courtney PattersonMay 15, 2015 at 11:14 AM

    Isn't it the truth? #GirlBye

  13. Courtney PattersonMay 15, 2015 at 11:15 AM

    Thank you for reading, Christine!

  14. Courtney PattersonMay 15, 2015 at 11:16 AM

    I understand if she didn't want to follow me anymore but to take the time to comment? #basic Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!

  15. Courtney PattersonMay 15, 2015 at 11:16 AM

    So, so funny to me. Immature? Maybe. Do I care? NOPE. Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!

  16. Courtney PattersonMay 15, 2015 at 11:17 AM

    Right?! And oh my goodness, people! Stop living your lives looking for such silly ways to be offended. Life is too short!

  17. Courtney PattersonMay 15, 2015 at 11:38 AM

    I've mentioned the area to Michael before and he is a no go. He used to work for The Potomac School and hated living in the D.C./VA area up there. All the more reason to plan a trip! ;-) Have a great weekend!