11 June 2015

When "Friends" Disappoint. A Reply to the Haters.

Today’s post doesn’t come with any fancy graphic or picture.

Honestly, I’m really too tired to do that shit today.

What today’s post will come with is a lot of raw honesty, so buckle up and let’s get this party started.

In case you missed my announcement on the blog’s Facebook page or my IG account, we’re moving to Pittsburgh on June 20.

June 20.

As in, a week and a day from today June 20. Anyone else out there feeling my stress?

It’s a good move for us. Michael has accepted a VP of Communications position with a well-established organization in the area and as far as family life goes, Pittsburgh has a lot to offer; museums, sports, zoos, restaurants, theatres and a plethora of on-going festivals, programs and activities. We found a gorgeous home for our family that has basement playroom space for Maddy and a huge fenced-in backyard for both the dog and Maddy. Overall, it’s a far better quality of life than we’ve had here in Statesboro, GA and we are excited about the opportunities and fun of it all.

What I haven’t been so thrilled about, and quite honestly confused about, are some of the reactions I’ve received from a few friends upon hearing our news. I’ve heard:

“As much as you move, you should never unpack…and Michael isn’t even military.”

“Y’all sure do move a lot.”

“Why are you moving again so soon?? What is the deal??”

“Why can’t either of you stay in one place for long? You running from something?”

Yes, it’s true. We’ve moved a lot over the last few years. Some of that moving has been our choice and other times, not our choice (because of employment) but in each instance, we had a goal in mind for what we wanted regarding the betterment and future of our family. The decisions we’ve made for ourselves and our child haven’t been made lightly. For me to have to even sit here and justify this to anyone pisses me off because the only thing I can think is…

Who the fuck really cares???

It’s always amazed me, this fascination and salty attitude people get regarding other’s life decisions. I’ve never understood it because to me, if you’re truly a friend to someone, all that should really come out of your mouth is…

“Congratulations!”

“Good luck!”

“That’s fabulous!”

Because I guarantee you this – when you’re changing jobs for the 100th time because you have no clue what you want to be when you grow up, I’m not going to ask you why. I’m simply going to say, “That’s awesome! Good luck!” When you’re moving or selling your home for reasons unbeknownst to me, instead of giving you a hard time about it, all I’ll say is, “Congrats! If you need some help, let me know!” When you’re moving your child to the 10th day care in a year because you can’t find one that you like, I’m not going to judge you for that. I’m going to say, “Do what you need to do to be happy with your decisions” and leave it at that.

For those of you unfamiliar with this concept, It’s called being supportive. It’s called being a friend.

Yes, our family has moved a lot over the last few years but ya know what?

I’m proud of our decisions.

I’m proud of the fact that instead of settling and struggling like most people do, Michael and I worked hard and went out and explored and made our own opportunities happen. I’m proud of the fact that our daughter has been able to see and experience so much of our great nation. I’m proud that my daughter will learn from her parents what it truly means to persevere and grab life by the balls. How many of you who are so critical can say that you’ve ever done the same with your one and precious life?

Lastly, what am I proud of most of all?

That I can confidently make these decisions and not really give a fuck what anyone thinks.

I will move 100 times if it means that my family will have the best life and opportunities and at the end of the day, I don’t owe anyone an explanation as to the “why” and decisions that are made for me and my family.

So if you’re one of these “friends” reading this, know from the truest and most sincere part of my heart that I don’t give a fuck what you think or have to say. Mind your own business. Take care of your own life. Tend to your own grass and maybe, just maybe, it will be as green.


Holla. 
Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup
Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup

Courtney is a published author, mom, taco enthusiast, and a Star Wars and Tennessee Volunteers fanatic. She's never met a piece of sushi she didn’t like and enjoys an amazing glass of wine and a great cut of meat. You can read more of her wine-induced, sleep-deprived adventures on The Huffington Post and Scary Mommy.

10 comments:

  1. EVERYBODY has an opinion and most people don't have any tact! You're going to be near where I live. There's lots of fun stuff to do here! Best of luck to you and your family!

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  2. Courtney PattersonJune 11, 2015 at 11:09 AM

    I think in this day and age of social media, it makes it very convenient for people to share anything and everything of what they think and see. Sometimes being quiet goes a long way. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!

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  3. Congrats on the move! I have recently became victim of the same thing, I didnt stand up for myself right away though but I have moved on and my motto is "haters gonna be haters"! Chin up and be happy for your family!

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  4. Word! Congrats on your move! We've moved a bazillion times and some have been met with similar comments as well. STFU. Life is good! Welcome to Pittsburgh... you've already got friends here!

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  5. Laura Powell-CorbettJune 11, 2015 at 12:21 PM

    From someone else who has moved a lot I wish you a lot of luck! Moving sucks you never do it lightly but you are gaining so much more so congrats and I hope the move isn't too rough on y'all (always wanted to say that, imagine me in my dodgy English accent trying!!)xx

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  6. You go , girl! COngrats on your move… sounds like it will be wonderful for you and your family.
    Also, people need to remember, if you've got nothing good to say, say nothing at all. The end

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  7. As someone who has done things in life differently than people expect, it drives me crazy when people place their own expectations on someone else's life. If you and your husband examined options and decided that moving was the best thing for you and your family--even if you moved a lot--no one else should care! It's none of their business and they should focus on their own lives. Good for you for making the decisions that are best for you and your family! Good luck with your move! :)

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  8. Bravo! I've always done what's best for my family as well, but I always let the rude remarks and naysayers riddle me with guilt. So glad for you that you don't let them do it to you!

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  9. I think it's great you guys chase your dreams and opportunities! If people don't like it... they can get over it. I'm excited to see how it all goes for you guys!

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  10. Momista BeginningsJune 14, 2015 at 10:12 PM

    aaaaand...drop the mic. Hopefully your friends will get the hint. And if they don't then you'll also know which ones don't read your blog :) -Misty

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