14 July 2015

Is This How This SAHM Thing Works?

Allow me to get straight to the point: I have absolutely NO CLUE as to what I'm doing as a SAHM. While it is still completely daunting to me at this point, I have to also admit that secretly, I'm enjoying it. This season of my life isn't intended to be permanent. I will eventually be going back to work (Someone hire me, Puh-lease!) but for now, I'm embracing the unknown and adjusting to this new role. However, it hasn't been without its frustrations...

I've had a job since I was 15. I've worked every year of my life since so when you go from working 9 - 5 for some 20+ years to staying at home with your child, it is an odd transition and I'm learning that it takes time to adjust. I'll be the first to admit that I have absolutely no freaking clue as to what I'm doing. Going from a life of knowing where I had to be at every second of the day and following someone else's schedule to having no required schedule, no one to answer to and no commitments has been difficult. Like seriously - WTF do I do with myself and Maddy ALL. DAY. LONG???


I've been scouring Google to get some answers to this question. I've googled everything from "Stay at home mom schedules" to "how to keep a preschooler entertained" and honestly, it has been totally useless because every mother is doing it differently. And why wouldn't they? Every family and every child is different so it only stands to reason that there is no clear and concise answer to this question of "how do I fill my days?" But what I have learned in a very short amount of time is this: there is no right or wrong answer. Apparently, that's the beauty of being a SAHM mom - to have the flexibility to do with your days as you see fit. More importantly, I'm learning that this is a special time I'll have with Chickie that I may or may not ever have again and for that reason alone, I cherish it.



At this point, I can't say that I'll ever be comfortable with being a full-time SAHM - I just don't think that's the kind of woman I am... it's not me and I wouldn't be staying true to me if I were to say, or do, otherwise. I enjoy work. I enjoy professional challenges and rewards. I enjoy knowing I can have the best of both worlds and NOT feel guilty for it. More so, I enjoy being an example to my daughter in a world that is hard for women that she can see me having a career and a family and that it's okay, so I can't say that I'll always be a SAHM. But what I do feel comfortable saying is that for now, I'm embracing this new challenge and time in my life and enjoying it for what it's worth. It's not easy but Maddy and I are figuring it out together along the way and life is good - even on the challenging days. I feel so incredibly blessed to have such an amazing daughter to share my life with and look forward to this time we will spend together. 


Especially during nap time. 



If you're a SAHM I'd really love to hear from you on how you fill your days and schedule your time. Any and all input, advice and suggestions are welcome! 
Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup
Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup

Courtney is a published author, mom, taco enthusiast, and a Star Wars and Tennessee Volunteers fanatic. She's never met a piece of sushi she didn’t like and enjoys an amazing glass of wine and a great cut of meat. You can read more of her wine-induced, sleep-deprived adventures on The Huffington Post and Scary Mommy.

13 comments:

  1. This is exactly how I felt during maternity leave...and that was with a newborn who slept all the time! Even on the weekends, we spend very LITTLE time at home! Or lots of time outside. ;) Luckily, Pinterest exists and I trust that you'll find enough pipe cleaners and beads to last for...approximately 10 minutes. Best of luck! ;) Kidding, kidding...I'm sure you will enjoy some very precious moments for this time. :)

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  2. So during the SAHM breaks I've taken, I've found that lazy morning, mid-morning higher energy activity outside of the house, lunch, 2 hr rest or nap, a little TV, then a low-key afternoon activity like the park (and then maybe a little more TV to get us through to the end of the day) tends to work for me. Probably more TV than most moms but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

    I also am big on play spaces where I don't have to be "on" and running after her every moment.

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  3. hahah esp during naptime. oh I miss naptime. Filling the day can definitely be a challenge. Lots of outings would be my game plane if we had two cars, but since when Chris works he has the car we do lots of crafts, books, and going outside when it isn't too hot. It's nice that you can have a time like this, and nice knowing you'll eventually be back to that work schedule you are used to. Good luck!

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  4. We homeschool so that does take up some time during the day. We do lots of outside play in our big backyard. Walking the dog at the park is always fun, and we love to get out the board games. Good luck with finding fun things to do!

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  5. Oh my goodness, YES! I can totally relate to you on this topic! When I had my first, staying home wasn't really an option and I was ok with that. When I had my second 4 years later, I was ready to take on that role as SAHM. I only lasted 2 years before going back to work part time. When #3 came, I was living abroad and couldn't work and as of now am still a full time SAHM. I have no clue half the time what exactly my role is. I cook, clean, blog, drive places, have play dates... but I have never used that time my hubby is at work to socialize or lunch or do anything I wouldn't have been able to do while working. I feel uncomfortable sometimes when people ask me what I do and I answer that I stay home with my kids. I know it is a privilege and something many mother's would love the chance at being, and being able to be with my kids all day is truly a gift, however, I'm still trying to find my place in that role. Great post and you are a wonderful mommy!!!

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  6. Amen and hallelujah to your third paragraph Courtney! Every child and mother and schedule is so different because it's all about what works for you! I do hope that you're able to find another job soon, because I know that's what you want and feel like that's where you thrive, but it's great that you're also appreciating that this is such special time that you won't get back. :)
    As for what we do all day, that's a really good question. I wonder that myself all the time. Most days during this season of my life I feel like I just spend my time running around cleaning up the same mess over and over. ;)

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  7. Crystal BissonnetteJuly 14, 2015 at 3:52 PM

    I worked full time (36 hours) with my first son and had three days off
    in a row. Then when I got pregnant with my second son I just knew I
    couldn't go through leaving another baby behind at daycare. It crushed
    me.So now I have been home for 22 months with both. Like you I had always worked and I had a strong work ethic. This by far is the most challenging yet rewarding job I have ever had. I too will go back to work when they are both in school. For now I get to watch them be the little people they are and be a part of their daily routine which is important to me. I try not to get too wrapped up in schedules and such. I just try to have variety and do a few activities a week. My boys are just happy to be outside! Since it is summer we have been doing some hiking or beach days. I try to get a play date in every so often and just go with it. Each day is a new day!

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  8. I definitely agree being a SAHM is not for everyone. I used to think it was never something that I wanted to do but I love doing it and its been almost a year now. The only thing I hate is the lack of bringing in income. I feel like I should and also feel like I wasted 4 years to get a degree and not be using it. Once the kids go school maybe I might start my career. Who knows! :-)

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  9. Desiree @ Macke MonologuesJuly 15, 2015 at 8:57 AM

    I had my first real job at 14, and worked every day from that point forward (sometimes multiple jobs in high school and college). Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd ever be a domestic engineer (sorry, still can't stand the term SAHM - we're not actually home all that much). However, living in Los Angeles proved to be too expensive for me to work and send my child to day care (who would have thought we'd *save* money by me not working?!). And, every.single.day. we pray we get transferred out of this city, because I'd love to eventually re-enter the workforce.

    BUT - while I am at home I've learned I need to soak up this time - it's fleeting. Even when the days seem SO long (the countdown to bedtime usually begins around 2pm) I remind myself that one day this little, demanding human isn't going to want to spend all his time with me.

    Maddie is one lucky little girl to have such an amazing momma setting such great examples.
    You're doing an awesome job!

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  10. I've been a SAHM for almost 11 years now. I fully planned on continuing to work after I had my first baby, but 5 weeks of bed rest changed things. My husband really wanted me to be a SAHM so I gave it a shot. 4 kids later, and I'm still a SAHM. I planned on going back to work when my youngest starts school in a few years, but he has special needs, so that changed things up a bit. I'm tossing around a few ideas. Over the past decade, I've watched friends and family members in my home, and the extra money is nice! The secret to my sanity is attempting to go to a different park once a week (we call it our playground rotation!), meet up with friends once a week, go to the library once a week, and visit with family once a week. There are always extra plans thrown in there, but it is necessary to get out of the house as often as possible!

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  11. We are busy and on the go a lot. We visit parks, libraries, have lunch with friends, run errands together (which is a pain.. you've been warned), we have movie day where we lay on the floor with pillows and blankets with a snack nearby and watch movies all day. Those are the days when it's raining or I'm tapped out. We go swimming. We visit the local mall play area. Connor loves it. It's bizarre. Hopefully you land a job soon BUT until then, just have fun. Play. Explore. Make memories.

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  12. I have been a SAHM for 5 1/2 years and I think my rule for the most part is to do one thing out of the house on most days. During the school year, there is school and that counts, so this is more important in the summer or on vacations. Sometimes we only go for an hour somewhere, or just simply take a walk around the neighborhood. Don't get me wrong, there are days we just hang out at home when everyone is tired and those days are needed, but for the most part our day runs more smoothly if we get out for a bit!

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  13. OMG, so with you. I would be going CRAZY. How do I entertain her by myself ALL day?? I think it's a matter of what you're used to - while we go crazy, I'm sure SAHMs would go crazy to be away!

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