14 January 2016

Three Thoughts on Thursday

I'm not sure what draws us to certain people in this life, especially celebrities. It seems odd and strange to feel a connection to someone you've never met; how you can be drawn in to a person's spirit and life yet never really know them. They inspire you, entertain you and share slivers of themselves to the outside world that in return, feed your own soul. For me, that person was Alan Rickman. If you know anything about me, it's that I've always loved Alan. Admittedly, I've always had a crush on him that even I can't explain and now, I'm left feeling so sad that he's left us too soon. Rest in peace Alan. When I'm 80 and still enjoying your movies, my friends and family will say to me, "After all this time?" And I will say, "Always."

At 3:00 this morning, Maddy came to our bed, woke me up and asked, “Momma, where did I come from?” I mean, WHOA. Well, whoa and WOW. The fact that Maddy was up at this hour pondering such a huge question blows my mind. I wasn’t exactly coherent enough to give her a decent response so I tried putting her back to bed…but she wasn’t having any of that. She desperately and genuinely wanted an answer to her question so I pulled her up in bed close to me and we snuggled for a little bit while I tried to give her an answer to her question. By the time it was all said and done, she was asleep and I was left wide awake to ponder how in the world a four year old can be so insightful. This little girl of mine never ceases to amaze me.

I’ve been parenting alone since last Friday. Michael is getting his third Master’s degree online but twice a year, he has to report to campus for residency, but he will be home on Saturday. Parenting in and of itself is hard. Parenting with your spouse makes the load a little easier to bear but parenting alone? That’s a whole new ballgame. I always get nervous when Michael leaves and without fail, I always begin to second guess myself; what if I can’t do it all? What if I drop the ball? What if, what if, what if. And then it hit me…

So what if I do. So what if I’m not able to be everything, do everything and know everything. So what if we eat out a few nights this week to make life a little easier for everyone? So what? Why am I being so hard on myself for a job that I do perfectly fine any other day of the week? Just because Michael isn’t here doesn’t mean that my ability to keep things rolling along stops. As our week together is coming to a close, I realize how much I’ve enjoyed having this one on one time with my daughter, even during the most aggravating episodes. I’ve also learned a few things about myself which I plan to share in a blog post next week so stay tuned!

How about you? What three things would you share today? 

Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup
Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup

Courtney is a published author, mom, taco enthusiast, and a Star Wars and Tennessee Volunteers fanatic. She's never met a piece of sushi she didn’t like and enjoys an amazing glass of wine and a great cut of meat. You can read more of her wine-induced, sleep-deprived adventures on The Huffington Post and Scary Mommy.

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