22 June 2016

Mommy Confessions: I'm Awkward to Talk to and Nine Other Strange Facts About Me

Mommy Confessions: I'm Awkward to Talk to and Nine Other Strange Facts About Me

ONE. I’m awkward AF to talk to in person. I guess this is why I enjoy writing far more than talking, especially if we don’t know each other. True story: in high school, I had a crush on a boy that worked at the Chick-fil-a in the mall. One Friday night, I finally mustered up the courage to talk to him. I worked my way up to the counter and for some reason that even to this day I don’t know why, I had a napkin in my hand. Well, when he said, “Hello,” I blushed, got scared and brought the napkin up to my mouth.

Now would probably be a good time to tell you that I had a massive set of metal braces in my mouth and since I’m confessing things about me today, I’ll admit that I also sported a set of mall bangs so fierce that they would rival any teen from the 80’s. Moving on…

I bring my hand up to my mouth with the napkin in it and what do you know. The napkin gets caught in my braces. So there I am, standing at the Chick-fil-a counter with a napkin hanging out of my mouth looking sexy AF.

Like I said…I’m awkward.

This awkwardness never really left me as I got older. Most people think I’m extremely outgoing but the truth is, I’m very, very shy around people I don’t know. I have a tendency to stutter from time to time when I talk and consistent eye contact makes me uncomfortable. I have a problem with small talk as in, I don’t do it well and honestly, if you want to keep my attention, your talking game must be strong.

Yeah…I’m awkward.

TWO. I like to dip Lay’s potato chips in mustard. This one is pretty self-explanatory.

THREE. I used to be a hard core Republican. Michael insisted that I throw this one into the mix because to him, being a Republican is grounds to call anyone strange but yes, I about eight years ago, I was hard core elephant. I think back on that time and shudder. I’m so grateful for the ability to change!

FOUR. I had a serious crush on Alan Rickman. Yes, you read that right. I L-O-V-E-D Snape. The day he died almost killed me, too. Honestly, if I had to draft my “list,” you would find a ton of older men on there. I regret nothing.

FIVE. I love and will eat oysters, sweetbreads, foie gras and eel but don’t ask me to even touch a freaking raisin.

Hey! That's Me!

SIX. I refuse to sit with my back to a door. I can’t do it. It freaks me out to not be able to see whose coming and going around me.

SEVEN. When I get dressed in the morning, I MUST put on my clothes in this order: pants, bra, and shirt. No, I don’t wear underwear.

EIGHT. I 110% believe in the Loch Ness Monster.

NINE. I LOVE the grocery store. I could spend hours taking my time, going up and down every isle, looking at everything and exploring new products.

TEN. You know that soft spot at the base of the front your neck? Don’t come anywhere near mine or I will freak the eff out. I took a self-defense class years ago and the instructor taught us that you could actually take two fingers and puncture the soft spot and crush someone’s wind pipe. Ever since then, I’ve been freaked out that if anyone gets close to it, they would accidentally puncture the skin and kill me.

Again, I go back to number one. I’m awkward.

Now it’s your turn. What interesting or strange facts about you do you have to share? I’d love to know I’m not alone in my randomness! 
Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup
Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup

Courtney is a published author, mom, taco enthusiast, and a Star Wars and Tennessee Volunteers fanatic. She's never met a piece of sushi she didn’t like and enjoys an amazing glass of wine and a great cut of meat. You can read more of her wine-induced, sleep-deprived adventures on The Huffington Post and Scary Mommy.

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