12 October 2016

Mommy Confessions




I absolutely cannot stand when people blow their nose at the dinner table. Case in point: A few weeks ago, I went out for lunch and the woman sitting behind me blew her nose and then proceeded to exclaim to her husband, "Oh, look honey! That's the big one I've been trying to push out for a while now!!" Need I say more?


Being a working mom lately has been a challenge and honestly, one I’m not handling well at all. Due to a hiccup with Maddy’s afterschool care, I spend half my day in the office, leave the office around 2:30 to pick her up from school and then spend the remaining two hours of my work day working from home. I’d like to say that it’s the best of both worlds, being able to be home with Maddy while still being able to work, but it’s just not for me and it’s literally driving me crazy. It’s very hard for me to get into the office to start my day to only have to put the brakes on my momentum halfway through and then attempt to get motivated again when I get home. I just don’t do well with my days being so disjointed; I need routine and order and right now, it’s all disorder. Hopefully a resolution is in sight soon!


While out clothes shopping with Maddy, if she picks out an item of clothing I don’t like, I tell her the store doesn’t have it in her size. Don’t judge. The way I see it, my days are numbered on being able to dress my girl in all the things I love before she starts to figure out that I’m full of crap and to be honest, I can’t stomach spending another penny on one more Paw Patrol, Peppa Pig or My Little Pony shirt, outfit or hoodie. I know all this will change as she gets older and at that point, I’ll be happy to let her have her choices but for now? NO.


I still own one pair of maternity jeans and wear them on a regular basis. They are so comfortable and so soft. I haven't been pregnant in over five years. 


I usually forget to brush Maddy’s teeth at least twice a week. I don't really know why this happens which in and of itself is worse. Is my memory really that bad??!! Parent of the year right here, folks.


Once, about five months after giving birth, a woman asked me if I had any intention of losing my baby weight. I asked her if she shaved, waxed, or went au-natural "down there." What's that? You don't like personal questions from strangers? Neither do I. 


I seriously contemplate joining the gym for no other reason than having access to the free day care. Work out? Maybe. Spend most of my time in the gym café enjoying a smoothie while reading a book or magazine? Absolutely. Priorities, people.


I’m already listening to Christmas music. Actually, I listen to it on and off year-round and feel no shame.


I love going to the salon to get my hair done but I hate having to make small talk with my stylist. I talk all day at work. I talk on the phone for work. My five year old talks, talks, talks. All I really want while I’m there is silence and a great blowout.


With every fiber of my being, I hate when I ask a mom how old her kid is and I get some bullshit answer like, "52 weeks." 

#girlbye

You are aware that's a year, right? Why don't you just say, "He's a year old" ??!! I don't do math. Here's a confession within a confession: My father had to literally beg my geometry teacher in high school to pass me because I was that bad at math. True story. Ask Jim Patterson, he'll tell you - I suck at math. So please don't make me have to do the math to get an answer to a very simple question. Why can't parents just say "Oh, he just turned 2 months" or something like that? Please parents, let's unite and put an end to this silly talk. Deal?



How about you? What things would you confess? 
Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup
Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup

Courtney is a published author, mom, taco enthusiast, and a Star Wars and Tennessee Volunteers fanatic. She's never met a piece of sushi she didn’t like and enjoys an amazing glass of wine and a great cut of meat. You can read more of her wine-induced, sleep-deprived adventures on The Huffington Post and Scary Mommy.

16 comments:

  1. I can't believe that women asked you about losing the weight? How did she respond to your question? haha

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    1. She was flabbergasted, which was fine. She proved my point for me. She said something like, "Well that's rude" and walked away to which I said, "Buh-bye now." People never cease to amaze me anymore.

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  2. Haha I love you. I HATE when my hairstylist talks to me. Getting pampered (hair, nails, massage, etc) is Ali's Quiet Time. Shush.

    Also, Christmas music already?! HAHA

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    1. Yep, Christmas music year round! It makes me happy so I play it. And yes - shut your face! I came here to relax!!

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  3. I love these!!!! I will agree with you on the whole nose blowing thing at the table. Ewww...just no. Bathroom is right around the corner...go there. I know when I have kids I will do the same thing when it comes to clothes I don't like and my child likes it. No shame! Personal questions from a stranger...um...do I know you? Bye! I also do not understand why parents say oh he is 30 weeks old,etc. I was also very bad at math. Thank You for making me laugh today!

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    1. You're very welcome! Thanks so much for reading. Enjoy the rest of your week.

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  4. I love these confessions! I agree that I am in control of clothing choices for as long as I can be!

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    1. Don't like it? Get a job and buy your own clothes, hahaha! Thanks for reading.

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  5. These are great. My initial thought at your first one was, "Jimmy Fallon's current hashtag challenge is #IOnceOverheard..." SEND IT IN!

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    1. I don't watch Jimmy. I'll have to check that out! Thank you for reading.

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  6. So much of this is me! Working from home is way harder than people think. I literally try to cram everything I need to do into the two hour span of day when my toddler naps. Also, ew to the nose blowing, that's disgusting!

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    1. The working mom struggle is real! Thanks for reading!

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  7. hahahahah to all!! Especially your response to that woman! And blowing the nose at the table-- ick especially when it's bloody mucus (don't ask).And yeah, my seven year old and I have to agree on something before it's purchased or else she she would choose some very sporty, bohemian gear.

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    1. Right? I mean, I want you to get things that make you happy but how many Peppa Pig hoodies and sweatshirts does one girl need?? Thanks for reading!

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  8. Bahaha!! 52 weeks!! Right?? And the gym childcare...I've contemplated dropping my kids off at the Church nursery and bailing. That's bad.

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  9. My best friend blows her nose often while we are dining together and it's enough to make me throat punch her. And she is my friend.

    And Christmas music... that shit hasn't change stations since like 2006.

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