I have always struggled with my weight. From elementary school all the
way up to today, I’ve been a human weight yo-yo. Some years, I was lean and
strong. More years than not, I’ve been overweight and out of shape. My story is
nothing new. Millions of women struggle everyday with their weight and issues
of self-worth and self-love that are unjustly tied to the way we look. It
hasn’t helped that I’ve been in relationships with men who have tied my worth
and value to my weight but allow me to be clear: my weight struggles are just
that – my own. While other’s comments and opinions about my weight have played
a part in my journey, I take full responsibility for myself. After all, no one
forced me to put the food in my mouth. My choices were my own.
So how did I manage to overcome my issues with food and weight?
Honestly, I haven’t. It’s a daily, conscience effort to make the best decisions
possible for myself and my body. Even though I’ve lost 40 pounds, I still struggle
with my weight and food addiction on a daily basis.
Confession: As I type
this, I’m eating a bowl of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. What can I say? Some
days are good and some days are bad. That’s the reality of me as a work in
progress. I think a part of my dieting success is attributed to the fact that I
can own this – I have a food addiction problem. I struggle. To me, food equals
comfort and honestly, it just tastes so. damn. good.
Having said this, my life came to a point in January when I realized I
needed to make a change. For years I made excuses as to why I couldn’t get my
shit together…
“I’m a new mom. I just don’t have time to
take care of myself.”
“I’ve
worked all day. I just want to go home and relax.”
“I
just accomplished X, Y or Z. I deserve to celebrate!”
Denial: “I haven’t gained that much weight. I’m not
that bad off.”
Lies. They were all lies.
The simple fact of the matter is that we all make time in our lives for
the things that are important to us. For me, my weight had taken a back seat to
anything and everything in my life. I was too busy taking care of everyone and
everything else that I neglected the most important person of all – me. So how
did I change that? Sensibly, slowly and reasonably.
