09 December 2014

I Admit It: I've Become *That* Mom



One day last week as Chickie played with her toys and basically managed to turn our living room into a war zone (But seriously, how do they know to bring out every. single. toy. they own??), I watched with great curiosity and anxiety as I thought to myself, “Hmmm. Wonder how I’m going to get her to clean up this mess…” 

Here lately, obediently listening to mommy and daddy and doing as instructed hasn’t been high on Chickie’s to do list. It’s no surprise, really. A lot of it has to do with her age. She is at a point where it’s fun and tempting to test the boundaries. Regardless, Michael and I still expect the rules to be followed and listening ears to be on. 

Translation: Just do as I say and we won’t have any problems, right kid? 

Oh, if only it were that easy! Of course I was met with the usual moaning and groaning when it was time to clean up and before I knew it, I said it. Normally, the filter between the brain and the mouth exists with the kiddo and I’m able to stop such things from being said but on this night, after a long day at work and being utterly exhausted, the filter was nowhere to be found and out the words came so easily…

“You know Maddy, Santa is watching. I’d really hate for him to see you acting bad.”

I had done it. I dropped my first “Santa’s watching…” Before I had Chickie, I would hear my friends talk about how they would use Santa as a bribe/threatening tool in exchange for good behavior and I always vowed that if I had kids, I would never do that. I mean, really. Threatening kids with Santa? Children should be able to be good because that’s what expected of them! They shouldn’t need bribery! 

{Confession: It’s safe to say that my pre-kid self was some-what of an asshole, obviously.}

Well, here I am. Doing it. Doing it all. day. long. And what’s worse, the more I think about it, I’ve become “that parent” in so many other ways as well. Allow me to share:


ONE | “We’ll see” has become the standard stock reply to all requests. I learned this lesson the hard way early in Chickie’s preschool years as a result of saying “yes” to things and then because of either time constraints, financial constraints, or whatever the case may be, I couldn’t follow through and as a result, Chickie would end up devastated and I would feel like the world’s worst mother.

No bueno.

Now, I simply reply with a “We’ll see” and this gives me time to process and think about all requests and if necessary, deny the ones I don’t feel need to be fulfilled. No commitment = no heartbreak for either of us and I’m perfectly okay with that!


TWO | During cleanup time, the only thing some toys see is the inside of my trash can. You know those toys that either don’t work, are in the process of falling apart or have been cast aside altogether and just collecting dust? In file 13 they go! You know you’ve done it too so don’t judge!


THREE | Speaking of toys, some toys are not worth new batteries. You know the ones I’m talking about. Those toys. For instance, for Chickie’s first Birthday, someone gave her a monkey that looked like a clown on steroids but to make matters worse, it had the creepiest laugh when you would push its belly. Chickie loved it. Me? Hell. To. The. NO.  Once that baby died, it was out of our home and yes, I tend to do this with most loud toys that are nothing but simply annoying.


FOUR | The bathroom has become my only sanctuary. There was a time in my life when using the bathroom was much like doing business at a bank: I would go in, make my deposit and leave. Fast forward three years post child-free life? It has become my sanctuary. This is a standard running joke among mothers but really, it’s so true. No one gives a shit about who you are or where you are but go to the bathroom and suddenly everyone and their brother needs you. It's the craziest phenomenon I've ever experienced. Who would have ever thought that the shitter would become such a desired place of refuge for a few minutes peace…at least until those little chubby Vienna sausage fingers come popping out from underneath the door…


FIVE | Movies have indeed become my babysitter – at times. I was flipping through an old notebook I found a while back in the chaos of one of our cross-country moves and came across some things I wrote before Chickie was born about how I would never let my child just sit in front of the TV with nothing to do. No way would I let my kid’s mind rot away like that!

#BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

O M GEEE that’s a good one. I kill myself.

The fact is, I do indeed let Maddy sit and watch TV. More precisely, movies. To be honest, I usually feel no shame in this. Chickie is at school all day and they run those little kids hard between lessons, play time and activities so when we get home, I have no problem letting her chill out in front of the TV. She’s worked hard all day and deserves a little mindless fun. Plus, it gives me some time to decompress from work and allows me to get dinner on the table, usually drama free. Then after dinner, the TV goes off and we find other activities to do to occupy ourselves so in the grand scheme of things, it’s not that big of a deal.

I’m sure there are mothers out there who would be mortified by some, if not all, all of these items but for me, I’m okay with all of them. Every single one. I’ve fought hard to figure out who I am as a mom and I’m still learning all the time the type of mother I want to be. I’ve become “that mom” but you know what? My child is healthy, smart, active, has amazing social skills and is blooming every day so if that’s a result of being “that mom” then I can live with that.

In what ways have you become “that mom”?

Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup
Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup

Courtney is a published author, mom, taco enthusiast, and a Star Wars and Tennessee Volunteers fanatic. She's never met a piece of sushi she didn’t like and enjoys an amazing glass of wine and a great cut of meat. You can read more of her wine-induced, sleep-deprived adventures on The Huffington Post and Scary Mommy.

16 comments:

  1. maybe, tomorrow or later are common answers here too! And I would die as a SAHM without TV. Plus Callie is learning lots from it. I try to do more learning games on the ipad than TV but some days I just want to sit and breathe so the TV it is and I'm totally ok with it. I've given up on things I wouldn't do as a parent before I was a parent. I mean my 2.5yr old still has her pacifier and I don't really mind it. I thought I would but really it's a life saver!

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    1. With everything you have going on right now, you DEF need some TV help. And paci, smashi. If it works for you and Callie then that's all that matters. XOXO

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  2. Yep. To every. Single. One.
    I've also given up on caring if my child is running around with stains on his othes, and probably food smeared on his face and in his hair. Before kids I remember thinking how I would keep my kiddo looking so fresh and so clean. Now? BAHA! Nope. I need to get stuff done. We'll take a bath later.

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    1. I've gotten to that point as well. I use to be the pre-treat and soak everything in Shout Nazi but now I'm just over it because she's just going to get messy all over again. It's a constant vicious circle so whatevs. We'll bake cookies instead! haha! Hope you're having a great week, friend!

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  3. My favorite line (which for the record lex invented) is "maybe it can come in the mail" when we're out and she wants something. Home girl has yet to remember one single thing supposed to "come in the mail".

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    1. Hahahaha!! I love Lex! I really would love to see her and Chickie in action together. Hope you and the little bambino are doing great. XO

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  4. oh geez we rarely survive without a little tv. I mean, I have no idea how meals would appear on the table without it. Or if a fave Christmas movie is on you bet it is on. I think we are all kind of assholes before we have our own kid, what can I say we had no idea!

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    1. We really didn't. At least I know I didn't. Not one clue did I have. Oh well, live and learn right? I hope you and the fam are enjoying a beautiful holiday season!!

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  5. Ha! I love this! I totally feel that way about TV. H has worked his hiney off at school and often needs some screen time just like I do. Thank you iPad!

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    1. Indeed!! Everything in moderation, right? And I'll admit I get sucked into the kid shows that Chickie likes. Sad, but true. Hope your week is much better than last friend! XOXO

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  6. Bahaha! I'm already guilty of using "we'll see" too. I HATED when my mom would say that to me. HATED. And that reminds me that I need to apologize to my mom again. For a lot.

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    1. Girl, I could do a huge post of a list of things I need to apologize for haha! But, I guess that's the way it works, right? One day our kids will be apologizing to us ;-) Hope you guys had a great Christmas and Happy New Year! XOXO

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  7. I mean, you gotta use what you gotta use because sometimes, parenting takes every single bit of you sanity from you. And if we are going to be honest here, if I need Connor to keep entertained for any amount of time, I let him watch Toy Story 3. Dude loves it and I can shit/shower/shave in peace.

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    1. Exactly! Even the best parent in the world needs a distraction or some downtime and honestly, I'm a better parent when I get a few moments of peace than if I don't.

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  8. The real question is, have you begun using Elf on the Shelf to manipulate her? That's when you've fully transitioned into "that mom" territory (says the chick with no kids)!

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    1. Nope! Going on year 3 with my girl and I have yet to cave to the Elf. I'm not an Elf fan so I don't foresee him in our home anytime soon!

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