6 Decisions You Don't Have to Justify to Anyone as a Parent

Allow me to get straight to the point on this one. Parenting circles are rough. We can be the biggest bunch of know-it-all, opinionated ass hats that ever walked the face of the Earth, and the outsiders looking in? They can be even worse at times by casting judgments on things they know nothing about.

As much as I like to think that I’ve grown comfortable in my own skin as a parent over these last 3.5 years, and have found a certain amount of peace with my parenting decisions, the truth is I still fall prey to the feeling of having to justify myself and my parenting choices to others. It doesn’t matter if I know and accept what my limitations, weaknesses and struggles are as a mom – I will at some point question myself and feel the need to justify said choices to others because let’s be honest – whether we like it or not, the sad reality is that we are indeed judged on our abilities as mothers.

Why do I feel the need to do this? My logic tells me that all children are different, so it stands to reason that how parents raise them will be different as well so what is the point in ever comparing or justifying my version of parenting to anyone else’s? The problem is, when I get around a group of mothers who love to talk, I start doing exactly that which is complete and utter bullshit because…

What parent actually really knows what in the hell they are doing anyway? The very existence of the “Mommy Wars” proves the point that most parents feel the need to justify and explain their choices as “the best” or “the right ones.”

I present to you this list of 6 ridiculous decisions that I, and you, should refuse to justify to anyone anymore:

ONE: Whether or Not You Breastfeed. In an age of social media and oversharing, we’ve become numb to the fact that some choices should simply remain private, be left alone and respected. It’s really no one’s business how a mother chooses to feed her child and is a decision that should be made between the parents and the doctor. Furthermore, here’s a tip: My daughter is amazing. She’s smart, funny, healthy and she was formula fed. She is a normal four year old and she is simply amazing and none of that has anything to do with what may or may not have been squeezed from my boobs. Isn’t it time we give this tired debate a rest?

TWO: Whether you’re a SAHM or a Working Mom. Again, a decision that should be private and made between the parents in the best interest of the family, somehow manages to get put on public display for observation and ridicule. All moms are working moms. Each choice has its pros and cons. One is not better or superior than the other. If being a working mom is the worst “mistake” I ever make during this whole parenting gig, I think I’ll be okay.

THREE: Whether or Not You Will Have More Kids. Unless you are going to pay for them, raise them and get up in the middle of the night with them, stop bugging me to have more. I’m a life-long, card carrying member of the one and done club and we are just fine with this decision. The status of my womb’s occupancy is not up for debate.

FOUR: The Fact That Your Kid Eats Fast Food. Dare I even admit that occasionally, we feed our daughter – GASP! - Wendy’s, McDonalds and Chick-fil-a? Call child services. World’s worst parents here, folks.

FIVE: How Much TV Your Child Watches. The simple truth and reality is that sometimes I have to get things done, need a parenting break or heaven forbid! There is something on TV that I actually want to watch! I feel parents can be the biggest hypocrites on this one because I have a theory that we all do this. All of us. At one time or another, the TV has played babysitter in most people’s homes.

SIX: When, Where and How Your Child Sleeps. We’ve all been there. In conversation, we let it slip that our baby took a nap on their belly and then we immediately feel the need to follow it up with a justification or an explanation. Or if we’re letting our kids sleep in the bed with us, then we’re ignoring every study known to man as to why this is bad. Shit, you know what? Sometimes it just boils down to the simple fact that I need to sleep and if this means that Chickie is tucked in bed beside me and we’re all happily in dreamland, then so be it.

I guess at the end of the day, what I’m trying to say is that I {and you too!} should feel completely justified in writing this list {you see what I did there?} What items would you put on your list of things you don’t have to justify to anyone?