Allow me to get straight to the point on this one. Parenting
circles are rough. We can be the biggest bunch of know-it-all, opinionated ass
hats that ever walked the face of the Earth, and the outsiders looking in? They
can be even worse at times by casting judgments on things they know nothing
about.
As much as I like to think that I’ve grown comfortable in my own
skin as a parent over these last 3.5 years, and have found a certain amount of
peace with my parenting decisions, the truth is I still fall prey to the
feeling of having to justify myself and my parenting choices to others. It
doesn’t matter if I know and accept what my limitations, weaknesses and
struggles are as a mom – I will at some point question myself and feel the need
to justify said choices to others because let’s be honest – whether we like it
or not, the sad reality is that we are indeed judged on our abilities as
mothers.
Why do I feel the need to do this? My logic tells me that all
children are different, so it stands to reason that how parents raise them will
be different as well so what is the point in ever comparing or justifying my
version of parenting to anyone else’s? The problem is, when I get around a
group of mothers who love to talk, I start doing exactly that which is complete
and utter bullshit because…
What parent actually really knows what in the hell they are
doing anyway? The very existence of the “Mommy Wars” proves the point that most parents
feel the need to justify and explain their choices as “the best” or “the right
ones.”
I present to you this list of 6
ridiculous decisions that I, and you, should refuse to justify to anyone
anymore:
ONE: Whether or Not You Breastfeed. In
an age of social media and oversharing, we’ve become numb to the fact that some
choices should simply remain private, be left alone and respected. It’s really
no one’s business how a mother chooses to feed her child and is a decision that
should be made between the parents and the doctor. Furthermore, here’s a tip: My
daughter is amazing. She’s smart, funny, healthy and she was formula fed. She is a normal four year old and she is
simply amazing and none of that has anything to do with what may or may not
have been squeezed from my boobs. Isn’t it time we give this tired debate a rest?
TWO: Whether you’re a SAHM or a Working Mom. Again,
a decision that should be private and made between the parents in the best
interest of the family, somehow manages to get put on public display for
observation and ridicule. All moms are working moms. Each choice has its pros
and cons. One is not better or superior than the other. If being a working mom
is the worst “mistake” I ever make during this whole parenting gig, I think
I’ll be okay.
THREE: Whether or Not You Will Have More Kids. Unless
you are going to pay for them, raise them and get up in the middle of the night
with them, stop bugging me to have more. I’m a life-long, card carrying member
of the one and done club and we are just fine with this decision. The status of
my womb’s occupancy is not up for debate.
FOUR: The Fact That Your Kid Eats Fast Food. Dare
I even admit that occasionally, we feed our daughter – GASP! - Wendy’s,
McDonalds and Chick-fil-a? Call child services. World’s worst parents here,
folks.
FIVE: How Much TV Your Child Watches. The
simple truth and reality is that sometimes I have to get things done, need a
parenting break or heaven forbid! There is something on TV that I actually want
to watch! I feel parents can be the biggest hypocrites on this one because I
have a theory that we all do this. All of us. At one time or another, the TV
has played babysitter in most people’s homes.
SIX: When, Where and How Your Child Sleeps. We’ve
all been there. In conversation, we let it slip that our baby took a nap on
their belly and then we immediately feel the need to follow it up with a
justification or an explanation. Or if we’re letting our kids sleep in the bed
with us, then we’re ignoring every study known to man as to why this is bad.
Shit, you know what? Sometimes it just boils down to the simple fact that I
need to sleep and if this means that Chickie is tucked in bed beside me and
we’re all happily in dreamland, then so be it.
I guess at the end of the day, what I’m trying to say is that I
{and you too!} should feel completely justified in writing this list {you see
what I did there?} What items would you put on your list of things you don’t
have to justify to anyone?
