09 April 2015

Shit! I Sound Like My Mom. Words and Phrases I Swore I'd Never Say as a Parent

It had been an extremely long day. Actually, I hadn't showered all weekend, nor had I changed my clothes over two days and to top it off, I looked like something from Night of the Living Dead. Maddy was around 18 months and was...well...I don't even know what the word would be; wild, crazy, and unmanageable - take your pick. I was a single parent while Michael was away for about 9 days at residency and in the back of my mind, I was plotting his death for leaving me alone with our little tyrant. (Love you, babe!) 

I remember the moment clearly - I was trying to clean up Maddy's room for bed time and every time I would put a toy in its place, Chickie would promptly take it back out again. I asked her to stop several times and each moment was met with that coy look that clearly said, "Challenge accepted." This went on for a few minutes and I found myself at my boiling point. As Chickie reached for another toy, I firmly said "Nooooo" and then removed the truck from her hands. The waterworks and gnashing of teeth started immediately and before I could stop myself, I heard it...

I heard my mother. "Stop that crying or I'll give you something to cry about!"

It's sad but true.

As much as we all try to avoid it, in some way, shape, or form, we all become a sliver of our mothers at some point and time during parenthood. I think it commonly happens in what we say to our children. Not that we mean for it to happen but sometimes the days are long, our patience is short and before we know it - Oops! Out it slips. 

I've been known to throw down some gems in my short 3.5 years with Maddy. Allow me to share a few:

"Stop that crying or I'll give you something to cry about."

"Get your fingers out of your nose| butt | diaper."

"Do you want to go in time out?" (As if I'm going to get an affirmative to this)

"I will count to 3..."

"If I have to come over there and get you, you won't like it"

"Let's see who can be quiet the longest" (The quiet game)

And the coup de gras of all mom quotes...

"So help me if I have to pull this car over..."

Yep. I've been there and done that with all of these...many, many times over.

And you know what? I'm not the least bit ashamed of it. The way I see it, I feel as if by saying all of these "mom quotes", I've been officially indoctrinated into the mom club. I've always felt like I didn't feel like an "official" mom until certain things happened to me as a parent anyway...

Get pooped and peed on? Check.
Pull an all-nighter with a sick baby? Check.
Sleep in positions I never dreamed my body was capable of just to keep my baby asleep? 

Check and double check.

Thrown out some uber-cheesy, stereotypical mom quotes?

Check, double check, and triple check!!

Not that it's easier, but parenting a newborn is completely different than parenting a toddler or preschooler. Newborns don't know that they are capable of having options, opinions and doing things their way or on their own like toddlers discover as they get older. Newborns sit where ever you place them and stay there but more importantly - 

They don't talk nor do they talk back. 

They have nothing to say. They don't scream like banshees when they don't get their way and they don't act like dictators with their wants, wishes or needs. Taking a trip to Toddlerville every day is like suiting up for battle: gird your loins ladies and gents because someone is going to get it in the crotch. They are coming for you and they are fully loaded.

And it's these crazy, chaotic and delirious types of days where we find comfort in unconsciously using the words of our own mothers and you know what - IT'S OKAY. Embrace those quotes. Laugh at them. The way I see it, using them is a rite of passage for all parents and more so, is a rite of passage for every child to hear as they grow up.  Who doesn't have an absolutely hysterical story of their mom looking like a rabid dog while she's swatting flies in the back seat (Trying to get to your head) while driving and yelling loud enough for everyone to hear, "Don't make me pull this car over!!!" If you don't have a story like that, I kind of feel sad for you.

Good times. Good times.

To end, I also want to share another mom quote that we heard a lot growing up in my parent's home - more so A hundred times more than any of the other quotes I mentioned above...

"I love you."

And in the end, that quote is the one our kids will remember and cherish the most. Think about it - more times than not, your child will laugh at you when you try to be the boss however, they will cling close to you forever when they know they are hearing the truth of your feelings. I know I did and still do. If I can be half the mom to Madeline that my mom was to me (Mom quotes included) I'll be satisfied with my job as a parent.

Keep it funny moms. I'd hate to have to pull this blog over.

What quotes do you find yourself saying that remind you of your mom?

Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup
Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup

Courtney is a published author, mom, taco enthusiast, and a Star Wars and Tennessee Volunteers fanatic. She's never met a piece of sushi she didn’t like and enjoys an amazing glass of wine and a great cut of meat. You can read more of her wine-induced, sleep-deprived adventures on The Huffington Post and Scary Mommy.


  1. OH I gained a HUGE appreciation for my own mom after having my daughter! Thank goodness for good parenting when we were little so we know how to do it now! ;)

  2. So, I say EVERYTHING my mom does. I am basically turning into my mother...glad I'm not the only one!

  3. I find myself saying so many of the same things to my boys that my mom would say to my brother!!! I have such respect for my mom now! Raising kids is hard!!

  4. People are constantly telling me I'm just like my mom, something I swore I would never be! And I'm not even a mom myself yet. Of course now that I'm an adult, I know turning out like my mom isn't a bad thing at all!

  5. I said I would never count... I count.... all the time... #fail

  6. I use these all the time! Haha I always ask my daughter if she wants to go in time out.

  7. Isn't it crazy to think that someday your kids will pick up these phrases too? You have a good perspective on it -- the "I love you"s and the encouraging words are going to be remembered forever. :)

  8. This is the first blog post I have shed a tear over while also laughing. Man, I miss my mom. I haven't seen her in so long. My son will be three in July. I call my mom all the time to tell her that I now understand why she said these when I was a child. My biggest one is "Do you want to go to bed? Because I will put you to be right now!"

  9. This is so incredibly true. I have totally become my mother. Eek.


  10. Karen Marie PattenApril 10, 2015 at 11:23 PM

    I can't believe you didn't mention "Because I said so. That's why." I always swore to be the "responsive / I love that you ask "why" / will always have a conversation with you" mom. Yeah. Whatever. Every once in while I just have to say "Because I said so. That's why."

  11. Haha!!! i love these! Seriously, I say these too, especially the "do you need to sit in the time out chair??!?!" like she will say "yes, mommy, I do!" HAHA

    Great post!!!

    Thanks for linking up with the Saturday Spotlight!

  12. So funny! I think my very favorite is I hope you have 10 kids just like you!!