On Saturday during
Maddy's nap time, I decided to visit a thrift shop down the road from us that
I've been itching to check out for a while. Anyone who knows me will tell you
that I have a love of antique stores, thrift shops and Goodwill stores. It
takes some time, but you can often find great things in these stores and I'm
always one to look for a bargain.
I did my usual
browsing and enjoyed the quiet time I had to myself for a while. It's not often
that I'm able to go anywhere without a vivacious and busy child strapped to my
side so I relished my solitude for this brief time. Two hours later, I found a
few good items to buy and made my way to the checkout counter. What I found
there however, was not expected.
Standing in line in
front of me was a young pregnant woman who appeared to be in her last months of
pregnancy. With her were her two other children - a toddler and another child around
four to five years old. With one glance, it was easy to see that this poor
mother was overwhelmed, exhausted and stressed. To make matters worse, the two
children with her were breaking down; crying fits, tantrums - the works.
The store was very
busy and packed with shoppers and as I looked around at the people in line in
front and in back of me, I heard the judgmental, grumpy, critical references
from other shoppers regarding her children's crying and behavior yet, no one
would step up and offer any assistance, even the other mothers there with their
own children (you know, the same ones who've probably had this very same
problem themselves and know how it feels?!) It was at that point that I
realized that even if I stood there silent not saying a word, not being
critical, that I was still allowing the bad to happen to this woman if I didn't
stand up and do something to help. So I did. I stepped forward and asked if
there was something I could do to help. It was a simple gesture but
immediately, I could see the panic, the worry and the stress drain from her
face as she released a sigh of relief and her composure eased a bit. I took the
kids and kept them occupied for the time that it took for their mom to pay for
their clothing and leave.
I don't tell you this
story to boast or to earn brownie points in the eyes of anyone. I tell you this
story because it is extremely bothersome to me as to why this problem - this
lack of courtesy, respect and downright civility and concern for others in our
society, even has to be an issue to begin with. Have we become so shallow, so
self-centered and so jaded as humans that we can no longer put aside our own
feelings to help those in need? Simply by looking at this woman it was
easy to see that she was in distress and needed a helping hand yet, there were
none to be found. What would it have cost anyone to take a few minutes out of
their day to help this woman occupy and entertain her children while she tried
to check out? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Yet - it was easier for most people to
stand around, do nothing and be critical all at the same time.
As I walked out of the
store, this young woman was waiting for me. She wanted to thank me for taking
the time to help her with her children. More so, she wanted me to know how much
my act of kindness really meant to her. You see, this woman's husband had lost
his job a while back which in turn, led them down the stairway of debt,
bankruptcy and loss. Not too long after they were forced to move out of their
home because of a foreclosure, her husband decided he couldn't deal with the
stress, the disappointment and the embarrassment of life and what had happened
to his family so he decided to commit suicide. She was left to be alone - 8
months pregnant with two children - scrapping to make ends meet to provide for
her family all while trying to keep it together for her kids.
Friends, we never
really know the struggles of others. Everyone is fighting a battle of some
sort. Why do we find it so incredibly easy, to off the cuff, be assholes to
others... and usually, for no good reason? Yes - it is a strong word to use but
it's the majority of the mentality that is allowed to exist and permeate in our
society today. We don't get our way? Act like an asshole. Experience
disappointments, letdowns and trials? Act like an asshole. Encounter a single
mother with two crying kids and it's annoying to you? Yep, you guessed it - act
like an asshole. Most of us are so wrapped up in our own little worlds that we
fail to see that we're not the only ones living in it.
What are yours saying?
I encourage each of us to try a little harder to be a little better. Most
people on a day to day basis are simply trying to live their lives the best
they can - in their homes, in their jobs and with their children. Calm the hell
down and cut people a break. Isn't life hard enough on each of us without all
the extra added hostility and hatefulness? Wouldn't you want the same courtesy
and kindness extended to you if you needed it?
In the end, you can be one of two things: you
can be kind or you can be an asshole. It's a conscience choice that you
make...the amount of effort that goes into being one or the other is the same.
{This post originally appeared on the blog in November of 2013 but seriously bears repeating...a lot.}
