My Tender Moments In Parenting

It seems like lately, our life has been a scene from Jurassic Park; loud screeching, wailing and gnashing of teeth, and growls that even scare the dog at times. But alas, we don't have any cool dinosaurs living in our home...just a preschooler with the attitude of a dinosaur.

If you've never experienced the pleasure of raising a preschooler, let me break it down for you in one word: challenging…to say the very least. You know that scene in Jurassic Park where dude gets eaten right off the toilet? There are some days I wish that were me. Partially because (A.) I can't seem to get two minutes to go to the bathroom by myself any more anyway so what does it matter and (B.) partially because well...honestly...some days I just want to go running and screaming from my house.

I know none of this is her fault. I know Maddy is simply going through the normal growing pains every preschooler experiences; newfound independence, exploring the world around her and the influence of other children and their attitudes definitely adds another layer to the mix. For the most part, she’s grown out of the crying over everything stage and into the push back, argumentative stage where every parental decision, choice and instruction is up for question and analyzation. If you ever want to sound like your own mother, have a conversation with a strong-willed, uber-curious child and before you know it, you will boil all of your parenting choices down to, “Because I said so, that’s why!” It’s all in a day’s work.

When things get this way, I have a mantra I say to myself over and over and over again: "This too shall pass." And while it doesn't take away the frustration I'm feeling at the moment, it does remind me that one day Maddy will be crying or upset for other reasons; her first love broke her heart. Her first real injury. Her first disappointments in school, with friendships and life. She will one day ask me about the unkind and horrific things happening in the world. She will want to talk about my depression or religion. Those are the things that will affect her the most. Those are the things I fear for her so while this time in our lives is hard, those times to come are what I know will be the hardest.

So how do I keep it all in check? Honestly, some days I really don't know. There are days when I crawl into bed and wonder "What in the hell am I doing?" But then there are days I tuck Maddy into bed feeling like the world's greatest mom. More so than not, I try to take time to remember what I call 'the tender moments.’

What are my tender moments in parenting? The way she still comes running to me yelling, “Mommy!” when I pick her up from day care. When she asks me if she can help me cook dinner. Our walks together around the neighborhood. Our chats in the evenings while driving through rush hour traffic. Playing coffee shop during bath time each night. Building car washes and Chick-fil-a’s with her blocks. Snuggling up on the sofa to watch movies. Watering the flowers together in the evenings. Doing our nails together and going for Starbucks runs. Blowing bubbles in the backyard. Watching her play in my jewelry and pretend to put on my makeup. 

These moments and more are the times that remind me how truly lucky and blessed I am as a mom, and I try my best to relish and cherish these moments because one day I know I won't have them. One day she will stop coming into our bed in the middle of the night for snuggles. One day she will want to leave and play with her friends and not me. These are my reality checks. So while the now seems unbearable at times, in the grand scheme of things, it's just a moment in time. What I will hold on to forever are the tender moments in my parenting.