6 Things I Dislike In My 40's (That I Never Thought I Would)

Today, a co-worker of mine is celebrating his 26^th birthday.

Oh 26, I remember you; the single, child-free life, being able to party all night AND go to work the next day with no problems, minimal bills and responsibility, being able to eat what I wanted without the weight gain, and fewer dark circles and bags under my eyes.

When I was 26 and thought of my life moving forward, I swore up and down that I would be the coolest “old” person around. Scratch that – I would be the coolest older mom around. I vowed to always do my hair and makeup to the nines each day, party like a rock star and never, and I mean never, wear any type of pants with an elastic waistband or one’s made out of stretchy material.

Today at 40, it’s safe to say that I’ve managed to not keep a single one of those promises and honestly, I’ve probably acted far older at times. Even though I promised myself and swore I would never age, I find myself disliking certain things that I enjoyed even five to ten years ago.

Loud Music. Back in the day, the only way I would listen to my music is if it was turned up and LOUD. So much so, that my parents would yell at me for making the floor underneath them shake. Fast-forward to 40 and I’m totally that old hag screaming, “Turn that music down!” to the kids in the neighborhood and to my own daughter.

Partying All Night Long. I went to college. Been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. Nowadays? No. I enjoy an occasional night out or a break from the ordinary but honestly, I would much rather be curled up in my pj’s watching re-runs of Friends or House Hunters. I have zero desire to be jammed into a bar like a sardine with 50 bazillion drunks while having to sell my plasma to afford drinks. The old Courtney would be flabbergasted. You know the only thing Courtney wants to do all night long now? SLEEP. That’s it.

Clothes Shopping. When I was younger, there was nothing I loved to do more than spending a Saturday at the mall. I would spend hours there, perusing every store and trying on a million and one different outfits. Old Courtney, however, would rather scoop her eyes out with a spoon than to go clothes shopping. When I think of all the money I blew on clothes back in the day, it literally makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little. I don’t care what you say, 24-year-old Courtney – you didn’t need that beret and those hammer pants.

Sleeping on the Floor or on Someone’s Sofa. When you’re in your teens, twenties and maybe even into your thirties, crashing on someone’s sofa is no big deal. You need somewhere to pass out and it’s just as good a place as any, no big deal. You get a great night’s sleep and wake up feeling as fresh as the morning dew. Old Courtney refuses to do this. Old Courtney has a home she pays far too much for in rent every month that has a bed with an amazing Tempurpedic mattress calling her name. I’m a grown ass woman.

Poor Fitting Bras. When I was younger, I was never very fussy about my bras and whether or not they fit properly. If Vicky Secrets was having a sale, I was there. The only problem? Back in the day, it was very hard to find a good fitting bra at VS. I’m a 40DDD (no, that’s not a typo) and at the time, I think the highest bra size available was around a 36 D, if that. I didn’t care. I was going to stuff my girls in those little cups come hell or high water because damnit – it’s Victoria’s Secrets and it’s on sale. Nowadays, I’m happy to spend half the money for my uber old lady bras at JC Penny’s and Belk’s that fit perfectly.

Girl Scout Cookies. Now, before you grab your pitchforks and ask what the hell is wrong with me, let me explain… Back in the day, I used to work for the Girl Scouts. One of the benefits of working for the organization is that there are always tons of boxes of cookies sitting around the office. You pretty much have free reign to gorge yourself silly, which I did. If I never had another Thin Mint or Samoa cookie in my life, I’d be perfectly fine. 

How about you? What are some things you’ve grown to dislike as you’ve gotten older?