Letters to Madeline: These Are The Things I Wish For You

My Dearest Madeline,

I could start by telling you how proud I am of the little girl you’re becoming or how every day, I marvel in all the amazing ways you’re growing up and becoming your own person: headstrong, confident, independent and brilliantly funny. The changes I see in you, some big and some small, are coming fast and fleeting right before my eyes. One minute, I remember you as the small and dependent baby you literally were just a few years ago and the next minute, you’re pulling me back into reality with the eight words that have become your life’s mode of operation lately: “Mommy! I can do it all by myself!!!”

I could go on by telling you how the lessons your grandma and poppy and your great-grandmother and great-grandfather taught me shaped my views on life – the kind that mold and create you and have a way of changing your life forever. Each one of them had their own hopes and wishes of what my life would be and become. All of them also said a lot but if they hadn’t said anything at all, that would have been okay too. Each of them have lived their lives by example with their actions showing far more than any words could ever describe, and even though there have been times when we haven’t agreed or even been upset with each other, there has never been a time that I didn’t feel loved, supported or feared that I would ever lose their love. I knew with all of my being that whatever missteps I took in this life, each of them would stand beside me to love and support me along the way. I knew this, and you should too.

Maddy, it’s a crazy mixed bag of emotions when you become a parent and none of it you will ever understand as my child until you have a child of your own. That’s cliché as hell to throw on you but it’s honestly the truth. I could go on and on about lessons, life and how I hope it will affect you all but really, there would never be an end to this letter. Instead, allow me to share a few of my hopes and wishes for you, my dear.

I wish...

…That you find true love at least once in your lifetime even if it hurts you.

…That you have the courage to be yourself in whatever shape or form that may be and that you allow others to do the same.

…That you grow into a sympathetic, kind, giving and loving woman. That you help those who need it and love those who don't - even if they persecute you.

…For your happiness. Madeline, I don't care if your dream is to be a Hungarian cabinet maker. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters to me.

…That you have the courage to come home if you need to. I will always be here for you, love you and support you no matter what you’re going through or whatever curve balls life throws your way.

…For your financial freedom. My dear angel, there is nothing worse than feeling trapped, cornered and helpless where debt is concerned. I pray you have the wisdom to make the right choices and that your father and I can teach you how to avoid debt. Regardless, I will be here for you if you need me.

…For you to understand that your tongue can be a tool for peace and love or for hate and hurt. Taste your words before they leave your mouth. If they taste bitter, keep them to yourself. Be a tool of inspiration and love to others and this world with your words.

…For you to receive a good education. This is something that is very important to your father and me. It will make all the difference in your life and give you the financial freedom mentioned above.

…For you to have a spiritual connection with the world in whatever shape and form you believe it to be, even if it means not believing anything at all.

…For you to find kindness to and for animals. You can tell a lot by a person by how they treat animals.

…That you have the courage to stand up for those who are wrongfully attacked.

…For you to celebrate other women's strength, success and happiness. Let's not limit their options. Let's teach them that when they make decisions in their lives, they should make them based on what's right for them. Our dreams should never be hampered by fear of what others may think.

…For you to understand that not everyone will have the same advantages that you will. In turn, reserve your judgments of others. We are all fighting some kind of battle in our lives. Empathy and understanding is the most precious gift you can ever give to a person.

…That you always keep your beautiful smile - you know the one. The one that melts my heart and the one that lights my life. That you keep that glorious, contagious laugh and that you learn to change the world with both instead of the world changing your smile.

All of these things and more I wish for you, my sunshine. You have been, and will always be, my most beautiful creation. Every day that has passed and every day that is yet to come is a blessing to me and your father. Most of all, I hope that at the end of your journey, you will be able to look back and see your gorgeous mark left on this world and in the lives of others. I hope you leave this world far more beautiful and happy than it was when you arrived and I pray that God will give me the time to watch it all unfold.